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21 March 2009 @ 02:36 pm
Episode Guide: 18 Feb '09 --- POWER.  
Tonight’s important thing is…

P O W E R



    INTRODUCTION.
  • Power. Okay. Very important thing—what do we start with? Okay we have a lot of options for covering this thing. we can start off with 'Jokes', 'Beat Up a Cougar... not an old lady ... 'Start a New Government'. ... 'Jokes'.


    JOKES ABOUT POWER.
  • Man... is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean people own birds! It's like... "There's a creature with a gift of flight. ... I want it. I'm gonna put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information."
  • Bears like honey.... so what do we do? We serve honey out of a bear. We take it from an animal that likes it... through a hole in its freaking head. Screw you, bears! Like a bear-skin rug? That's unnecessary! "You know, I think the den looks great... it's just missing something." ~ "Really? What?" ~ "...The back of a dead bear?"
  • Guts and balls are pretty much the same thing when it comes to power... But the similarity is kinda limited--at a certain point, they diverge. Like you can have a gut feeling about something. Something you trust. But you can't be like, "You know what? I'm gonna take that job. I can feel it in my balls. Yeah. I should work there. My balls are telling me it's a good idea."
  • CLIP: Jokes About Power


    SKETCH COMEDY
    Memorable Quotes:
  • DEMETRI: By the physics of the universe, I was first!
  • DEMETRI: YOU DON'T PARALLEL PARK BY GOING IN FRONT-WAYS, OKAY?
  • WIVES: GET YOUR ASS IN THE CAR!
  • CLIP: Parking Fight


    THIS IS...
    A YELLOW BELT
    .... who opens a new pair of headphones.


    THE POWER OF LINES
  • If you want to make something look more powerful, lines are the best way to do it. For example, take a cup of coffee:
    Now it's hot.
    But if you change the lines... now it's loud. That's an even more powerful cup of coffee.
    Change it again, it's coming at you.
    And if you do this, that's a loud, hot coffee coming at you. If you hear hot coffee coming towards you, you should move.


    THIS IS...
    A YELLOW BELT
    .... prepares some boxes for recycling.


    NOTE ON POWER
  • Here's a note on power: you can't be lost. You have to have a good sense of direction to maintain toughness. You can't be a tough guy and have a map out and be like, "EXCUSE ME! What way's the park, fucker?!"


    SKETCH
    When he heard his father was murdered by thugs, Thomas Lowenstein vowed to dedicate his life to avenging his father's death by crushing criminals with the cold fist of justice, and the violent state of revenge. He is... the Revenger.
  • CLIP: The Revenger.


    OTHER JOKES ABOUT POWER
  • I don't have any superpowers. The closest thing I have is that I'm invisible to bartenders.


    THIS IS...
    A YELLOW BELT
    .... fights depression.


    MUSIC STATION
    This song is for my enemies. It's called Me vs. You.

    Me: starving wolverine
    You:baby covered in pork-chops.

    Me: pigeon with explosive diarrhea
    You: statue under me and my friends.

    Me versus You,
    What'chu gonna do?

    Me: Hillbilly
    You: my teeth
    And I like sweets.

    Me: Mexican sprinting champion
    With cousins in north Texas who has job opportunity for me
    You: border.

    Me: distortion pedal
    You: harmonica.

    Me: the SATs
    You: high school football player.

    Me: gravity
    You: old lady's tits.

    Me: horny teen-aged boy
    You: sock.

    Me: police
    You: campus police.

    Me: feather
    You: ticklish man sitting on a rocking chair on edge of cliff.

    Me: angry rapper
    You: the English language.

    Me versus You.
  • CLIP:Me Versus You.


    THIS IS A SKETCH
    Rats, rats, rats!
  • CLIP: Creedocide.


    THIS IS...
    TWO GUYS.
    ... In a dungeon.
    DEMETRI: All I'm saying is that if you talk over me, we can't hear eachother, okay? I'm not trying to pull rank. I'm not trying to pull rank! I've been here for five years. Just... a touch of respect would be appreciated.
    OTHER GUY: But I've got so much to say from the outside and all you're saying is the same stuff over and over again. It's like... I don't understand why you wanna talk so much.
    DEMETRI: Are you finished?
    OTHER GUY: Are you listening to me?
    DEMETRI: You finished?
    OTHER GUY: If you would just... just listen to me for a little bit. It's not like a power thing. I just want to like, talk to you... you know, and just have you listen. Is that--is that weird?
    DEMETRI: Were you talking?


    Between Socrates and Plato, there was...
    DEMETROCLES
    DEMETROCLES: True power comes from above: the cosmos, the Gods. These heavenly bodies control our destines, and sometimes burn the shit out of my chest. These wounds are killin' me above the nipples!


    A DEMONSTRATION
    Words. Words are fun to play with, but they also have a lot of power. Let me show you what I mean:
  • I HATE YOU
    Now this is a particularly strong word. But it becomes even stronger with just a simple principle of removal applied:
    I ATE YOU
    And then it becomes suddenly weaker with a little more removal:
    I ATE, YO
    Then it just becomes like, attention grabbing:
    A, YO
    ...And then it just becomes a celebration:
    A O

  • I love, like in a mall, you see a sign:
    You Are Here
    But I think an even more interesting sign something with more impact would be something like:
    You Are Here, Brian
    'cause for most people, it'll be like "what?" But for some people, it'll be like, "Holy shit. This wall is unbelievable. This is my mall."


    "Here"
    Folk Singer
    I wish I have all the power in the world
    then I could make you my girl
    I'd also have a mansion with servants and lazers
    then I could kill anyone I don't like.

    All the power in the world.


    POWER TIP
    You want to say something to somebody and you want it to be more dramatic. You need a window, so can I have a window, please? Great. What you do is when you talk to him, you don't look at him; you look out the window instead. I'll demonstrate:

    "Hello, Susan. Have a seat, please. I know that you ate the last cookie... I want a divorce.


    EXTRA(S).
    CLIP: Behind the Scenes of The Revenger

    { "POWER" SCREENCAPS }
    173 Images; 34.4 MB; 640 x 480 Pixels
    View the Episode's PhotoBucket

    You may use the images for anything you desire. No credits necessary, just DO NOT DIRECT LINK.

    You're welcome! :)
 
 
 
canadian_plant: hurmcanadian_plant on March 21st, 2009 09:27 pm (UTC)
This is awesome, thanks for doing it!